Thursday, June 29, 2006
Is It Just Me??
I often question whether I'm a bad parent and if so, where I went wrong. Hannah for the most part is a great kid, but unfortunately she, didn't come with an instruction manual. So, using what I have read, and what I know of child development and the need for consistancy and routines in kids' lives, we have done what we can to be the best parents we can be.
Sometimes I just don't think my best is good enough. For what I guess is the hundrenth time, Hannah found yet another pair of scissors and whacked at her hair. Again. Did I mention this is time number 100 (pardon the slight exaggeration)? Short of beating her, I'm at my wit's end!! This time she not only went in my bathroom and found a small pair of nail scissors with which to torture her hair, she ruined one of my favorite make-up brushes by giving it a hair cut. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Her response to why in the world she would even THINK about doing such a thing was, "Because it's fun." Fun???? FUN????? Getting in trouble is fun????? AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
So, being a fairly smart cookie, (okay, I often miss the forrest for the trees, but I do try) I have determined that Hannah is in desperate need for attention, be it positive or negative. She craves it. Even though she won't really talk to me about it, I'm pretty sure she is horribly jealous of Lily. Which, is understandable as she had our undivided attention for over four years. Now, in comes this sweet and funny little creature that demands much of Mommy's and Daddy's time, leaving Hannah with much less than before. I reassure her I love her and that she will always be my first born baby. I tell her again and again I love her and will always love her, no matter what she does or what happens. But, she continually says things like, "If I do ______, maybe you will love me as much as Lily." Oh, my breaking heart!
I tell her I love them equal. I explain that the only reason Lily isn't getting fussed at right now or in trouble right now is because she is too little, and that I'm more than positive her time will come. All to no avail.
Brien and I have discussed it, and we realize Hannah needs not only alone time, but alone time that is verbalized as being alone time. In other words we ask something to the effect of, "Hannah how would you like to do _________ alone with me?" This way she not only has our undivided attention (although not together, one of us has to be with Lily), but she is aware of it. We have also discussed having Nana and Pop watch Lily and take Hannah to a movie or some other fun outing, just the three of us. We'll see how that works.