Quizzes to Grade

So, I won't be posting much. Thank you all for your fun recipes and links! :o)

We had Lily's Open House tonight--which was FUN, although not many of us came--and now it's time to hustle her to bed.

Wishing you all a good night and great day!

Bailey's Leaf Lovin' on the Crock-Pot Fest!

As I mentioned yesterday, my friend, Amy is hosting a recipe swap of all your favorite Crock-Pot recipes. I'm posting a few of mine here this evening. I know I'm typically all about fresh, processed food-free foodstuffs, but in the case of my Crock-Pot, I don't care. ;oP I LOVE my Crock-Pot and try to use it about once a week during the fall and winter.

Round Steak with Gravy

2 packages thin-sliced round steak
1 package Lipton's onion mushroom soup mix
1 can cream of mushroom soup

Layer the round steak and soup mix in the crock. Cover with cream of mushroom soup. Add one can of water. Cook all day. Serve with mashed potatoes or rice (you'll want a nice starch to sop up the yummy gravy).


Easy Crock-Pot Lentil Soup
(Disclaimer: I made up this recipe...)

1 package smoked sausage, cut into 1/2" chunks
3-5 potatoes (I use red so I don't have to peel them--I'm SO lazy) cubed
1 medium onion, chopped
1/2 cup carrots, sliced thin
1 carton beef broth
1 carton chicken broth
1 bag lentils

I put all the soup ingredients in the crock, then add the beef broth, and all the chicken broth I can. Then, cook all day. It is thick and hearty and quite tasty. Serve with crusty bread.


Super Easy Beef BBQ

1 beef roast (typically whichever cut I can get on HUGE sale)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce (we like Bull's Eye Original--it's HFCS-free)

Add roast and onions to crock and fill with enough water to cover the roast. Cook all day. Drain off broth (I save to make a nice French onion soup) and shred beef using two forks. Add BBQ sauce and heat again for about thirty minutes. Serve on buns with slaw.


Crock-Pot Chicken
(Warning: Another Rachael made-up recipe)

1 package boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 carton chicken broth
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 8 ounce carton sour cream

Mix soup and sour cream. Add broth (between 1-2 cups--enough to be somewhat soupy and cover the breasts). Put chicken in crock and cover with soup mixture. Cook all day. Shred chicken in "sauce". Serve with egg noodles or some other starch.

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These are my main go-to recipes, although, I've been known to just throw some "stuff" into the crock and pray for the best. ;oP If you have recipes you'd like to share, please do. I know I sometimes get in a rut of sorts and LOVE finding new and interesting recipes. Amy has posted her faves on her blog. Let me know if you're playing along! :o)

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Today's Sparklies:

1. I think autumn may be in the air. It's finally getting cool in the evenings and I'm sitting here in a sweatshirt. I'm SO excited!! :o)
2. I'm getting ready to go make a hot fudge sauce for some vanilla ice cream. Yum!
3. I had a student and her mom gift me with the loveliest items meant to help settle my stomach, including crystallized ginger. So sweet. :o)
4. Ken Burns' National Parks continues.
5. I love after school tutoring--there's something nice in working with kiddos in small groups to specifically target the areas they need to work on.
6. Lil was bouncing with excitement over her field trip to the library--she got to ride a school bus (with seat belts) and "everyfing!"
7. A fuss-free morning this morning. What a gift. :o)

No milestones.

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Off to make that sauce--it's SO good. :o)

A Big Surprise

Sarah and I had planned on getting together Sunday so the girlies could play and we could chat (and I could get some good snuggle time with Miss Lauren). We weren't sure what we were going to do, but we would do something.

Sarah texted me Saturday afternoon about tickets for Disney on Ice, asking me why in the world a two year old and up was considered "adult" for ticketing purposes. At that point, I was intrigued. Disney princesses? On ice?? What could be better? What could Lily possibly love more???

Sarah found and excellent deal on tickets and I told Lily she was going to have a BIG surprise the next day. Right after nap (I interrupted it in fact), I loaded Lil in the car and we headed to "Important News" (Han's name for Newport News) to meet up with the Greathice. Erin and Lil LOVED riding in the van next to each other and jabbered non-stop. We picked up some Micky D's (which we NEVER do) and hit the coliseum.

Patience is hard won for a three year old, I'm sure the girls thought the show would never start. Then, suddenly, it was time! Being the emotional wreck I am these days (gotta love those pregnancy hormones), I looked over at the two girlies, their jaws dropped with awe and excitement, and immediately teared up. They were SO excited! I thought Lil was going to jump out of her seat and onto the ice when Ariel and Eric showed up. She was bouncing like a bunny in her seat. :o)

We saw the "Celebrations" show, and I confess, I was sucked in as well. Holy smokes those are some talented skaters. How the heck they can skate while wearing those HUGE costumes is beyond me. There were spectacular jumps and lifts and pyrotechnics and crowd participation and excited little kiddos all over the place. I was just as enchanted as the girlies. :oP

I was reminded of the time Lissie took Jessie and me to see the Ice Capades when I was little. I saw Peter and Kitty Carruthers and was so close to the rink I could feel the ice spraying my face. Although we weren't that close last night, I hope Lily and Erin have those same wonderful memories.

I do know Lily hasn't stopped talking about it. :o)

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Today's Sparklies:

1. The sounds of Lily and Brien laughing as he gets her ready for bed.
2. The newest Ken Burns series on PBS, The National Parks is spectacular!
3. The fall temps are coming, the fall temps are coming!!!!!
4. I managed to overcome a really cruddy mood this morning and find a better mindset for the day. Whew! Again with those nasty pregnancy hormones...
5. I got the newest Lisa Kleypas book and it is just as wonderful as the others in the series. If you like romance novels, this one is fabulous. Of course it is, it's an LK. ;oP


No milestones.

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My friend Amy, over at Bailey's Leaf is having a "Crock-Pot Fest". I'm going to join the fun tomorrow by posting some of my favorite Crock-Pot recipes. I invite you to do the same! I'm always on the lookout for quick and easy Crock-Pot cuisine! :o) Check her out and join the fun. :o)

Lily Makes a Bus, Or My Third Post for the Day

We had to go to Lowe's for a few home improvement items today (heck, who am I kidding, I LOVE Lowe's just for the fun of it) and found it was our local county's safety day. There was a fire truck, and ambulance, the Red Cross had a booth, a fire safe house and more. In addition to all this fun-ness, they also had one of their Build and Grow Clinics.

I know my friend, Amy, has mentioned these clinics before, her daughter, K, having participated. I also know B and I have talked a number of times about signing Lil up--it's free, for Pete's sake!--and hadn't done so.

Well, today, when we saw the clinic we thought it would be a grand time to try it out. They were building fire trucks, after all. At first, Lil didn't seem too interested. Then, she saw the other kiddos hammering away and decided maybe she was interested after all.

They gave her a little apron with a name pocket, and she wore the safety glasses they provided. The kits are pretty nifty and Lily selected a school bus because, "I LOVE school buses!" She grabbed the little hammer and I read the directions and she got to work.

I have to say, I was very impressed with my girl today. She didn't choke-up on the hammer, and she had 100% accuracy when striking the nails. Nobody had any fingers smashed and no nails were bent over or damaged. I had no idea she was so good at hammering. Her daddy tells me he did. ;o)

When she was finished, the Lowe's staff gave her a certificate and a little patch to attach to her apron, much like a merit badge. I was so impressed I know we'll be heading back to attend another workshop. :o) Here are some photos of Lil and her finished product:


After speaking with Lissie, she decided maybe the bus could use a little color, so she made a "rainbow bus".




This was a TON of fun for all of us. Between all the safety visits (did I mention the 50 outlet covers they forced on me? Seriously!), the bus clinic and then shopping, we spent over 2 hours at Lowe's today. We barely made it home in time for the ball game! :oP

If you have a Lowe's nearby and have never tried one of these clinics, I HIGHLY recommend you check it out. :o)

Go Hokies!!!

I've been rather disappointed with my Hokies the past few games. The defense seemed a little lackluster (although they did stop the Huskers from getting in the end zone), and well, the offense was nonexistent. My biggest concern coming into this game with Miami was the offense. I knew if we played like we had, against Nebraska and 'Bama, things were going to be UGLY. We weren't generating anything on the run and Tyrod simply wasn't playing like Tyrod. One of the things that makes him unique in the world of QBs is that he can RUN like nobody's business and he hadn't been. Additionally, Tech is a running school--it's what we do--and we hadn't been.

Watching the Miami game today, I was floored. It was like watching an entirely different team play, the team I KNOW they are. The defense shut Jacory Harris DOWN, as well as Miami's run. And then, there was our offense. Wow! We were there and it was pretty! :o) Sure, there was some sloppy play, we received a few false start and off-sides penalties, and Ed Wang did get two holding calls, but overall, the Hokies looked good. :o)

Additionally, Brien and I found this article on Hokie Sports, which had us smiling as well.

All is well in Hokie-land, even if the people who attended the game are still wringing out their socks...;oP

Farmers' Market Saturday

Although it was grey and gloomy, the rain held off and we had a fabulous time at the FM. This gorgeous bloom?

Part of this bouquet. :o)

Lily took her time charming everyone she met, petting all the pooches she could. While she charmed, I shopped. Today's goodies include:

A visit to Rockahock Farm's bakery

Lucille's Bakery (this was Lil's purchase--she was SO proud of herself paying the man for her treat)

A visit with Blenheim for Romaine

Kelrae green beans (they are SO awesome!)

Salsa kit courtesy Blenheim

Also from Blenheim, figs (for B)

And, I'm sure these are close to the end of the season--but I'm bound and determined to enjoy them while I can.

Focaccia from Catering by George.

I also got a beautiful chuck roast and dog bones from Simpson Farms, and a pound of scallops from Bill Forrest Seafood. Dinner this week is going to be so wonderful! :o)

Long Day

It's so bloomin' hot right now I'm going nuts. Grrrr. Today was Mercy Day so we had our beautiful Mercy Day Mass. Alas, it was held outside. This wasn't a bad thing if you were blessed to be sitting in the shade. Sitting in the sun was another story--holy cow it was HOT! Nothing seems quite as sapping as sitting in the heat.

However, the service was, as always, lovely. The senior girls sang an incredible hymn that led me to tears and broke Lola's and my arms out in goosebumps. Father Abe had a nice homily and the fifth graders were chuffed to be taking part in the service this year, carrying in the banners, and performing as alter servers. It was all wonderful. :o)

My day got off to a rough start when dropping Lil off at daycare this morning. I made that fateful mistake of looking back. There she was, looking miserable, appearing ready to burst into tears at any moment. The tragic part was it wasn't an act and she wasn't directing it at me. She was truly sad. Now, I'm old hat at this daycare thing, so I know the moment I was gone she was off and playing. Buuuuut, I sure did feel like a heel. :o(

Well, compound the heel-dom with not getting to her until after 5:00 this afternoon. Yikes!! My appointment was for 2:30. I didn't leave the office until 5:00!!!! It went quite well. :o) Allison spent quite a bit of time getting to know me and my history. I found out she's a good friend of Scottie and has a son attending our school. Cool! :o) She said I'm quite healthy and she's not at all concerned about anything. My blood pressure is good and I'm measuring just right, so all is well. I got back in four weeks and at that time we should be able to hear Jellybean's heartbeat. We'll schedule the 20 week ultrasound for the first week of December, then we'll know if JB's a he or she. :oP

I grabbed Lil from daycare and we hit the road to NN as we had a dinner date with Sarah and her girls. Erik is in Hawaii, and B is in Florida, so we had a girls' evening out. Those two little girls of ours are too cute to take out I tell ya! :o)

Right now, we're having vicious t-storms. They make me miss Hannah, although the dogs are trying their best to take her place in my lap as they don't much care for them either (which just reminded me of something Hannah used to say, "I don't much care for _______." Hee hee!). My big concern is B is flying in this evening and I know flying in storms isn't that wonderful. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a delay-free, smooth flight.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Mercy Day Mass
2. A clean bill of health from the doctor's office. :o)
3. Dinner with Sarah and the girlies. :o)
4. As Erin and Lily were running around outside this evening, I saw two little froggies (okay, really toads) hopping around. It was so lovely.
5. I've learned to embrace the thunder boomers. Hopefully they'll bring cooler weather behind them. :fingers crossed:
6. I got a flu shot today--regular, not H1N1. I'll be calling the office next week about that one. ;o)

No milestones. However, this pregnancy has me revisiting both Han's and Lil's. And, during my appointment today, Allison and I talked a bit about the Monkey. It's only fair to let my providers know about her and so far everyone has taken it quite well. They are willing to discuss her and do not seem at all uncomfortable. That's quite nice.

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Jane, I keep forgetting to mention it--the card and all the sparklies arrived in time for Han's birthday. Thank you SO much! It brought such a HUGE smile to our faces. :o)

Angie, I couldn't be happier for you and your family. Olivia is going to make the BEST big sister!! :o)

Cruisin' on a Small Down Yo

It's not entirely unexpected, not really. Given the Monkey's birthday and that clarity of yesterday morning, I figured a down yo would soon be upon me. I had no idea it would be today, but again, not unexpected.

My Hannah memories are a jumbled mess, they don't come to me chronologically, they come en masse, tumbling over one another, no single one standing out. The "coconut tree" fountaining off the top of her head as an infant (we had to do something with all that hair!), the "Shrek ears" a few months later. Her fat cheeks and twinkly eyes. The never sleeping in the car as an infant, for fear of missing something. The agonizing road trips during which she would stay awake until we just hit the outskirts of town, only then falling asleep within 10 minutes of our destination. The jabbering incessantly and the sudden silence when she did fall asleep. Falling asleep with her head thrown back, mouth hanging open--it used to make my neck ache to see that.

I often fear I miss the beauty and wonder in the world around me because I no longer have Hannah bringing it to me. I'm not outside as much as I should be, I know that. I've let Hannah's garden go as summer has waned. I feared the heat and mosquitoes would get to me, and they did--I let them beat me and I'm not proud of it. :sigh:

I've been trying to remember some of my favorite moments with Hannah and the truth is there are so many I'm hard pressed to pick just one or two. I loved that she was my shopping buddy, that from the early age of two she could go into a store with me, find something and say, "Cuuuuuute" when she found something appealing. I loved that she was so tuned in to the way things felt--the softer the better (Lil is much like her sister in this respect). I loved the way Hannah found pleasure in such simple things--a flower, a rock, a fruit salad combo of fragrances from B&BW. I was enchanted watching her mind work, watching her put one and one together and coming up with two.

I remember Han telling me about a sorting activity she did with her Kindergarten teacher. Mrs. P asked Han to sort some buttons. Most kiddos would go for color, or shape, or size. Not Han. Nope, she went for number of holes. I was fascinated. She had the most amazing mind and I loved watching it work.

I loved her HUGE heart. Hannah's heart loved everyone, but the men in her life were particularly special. From the time she was a wee smidge of a Monkey, she adored men and would flirt with them shamelessly. I'm talking from about four months until the day she died. While I know she loved me and all the other women in her life, she ADORED her Daddy, her Pop and Uncle Paul. Oh was she their little girl. Han loved to do everything with her daddy. Santa got her a tool belt and hardhat one Christmas so she could work with Daddy in his workshop. She once ran past a kneeling, arms spread Nana to hug her Pop.

But, Hannah didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, either. Remember that big heart? So, although I suspect I wasn't her most favorite person, I know she loved me dearly. She and I would color and draw pictures together. We would blow bubbles together and she was my kitchen buddy. She LOVED to go and visit with her Lissie and couldn't wait to see her either.

Han was always interested in the foodstuffs she put in her mouth. "Is dis junk food, Mommy," was something I heard frequently. Han went from being the baby who couldn't get enough to eat, who would stuff anything remotely food-like in her gob, to the toddler who refused to eat anything. Okay, that's not quite true, but she did become SO picky. "I still love you, Mommy, and I know you worked hard to make dis, but I don't like it" was another frequently heard statement. I learned to NEVER get in a battle of wills with a child who has determined they don't like an item of food--you will lose. Seriously. Oh, what a headstrong, stubborn child she could be.

Right now I miss having her snuggled against my side. Her Daddy is in Florida for another day, her baby sister is in bed and I would have her here with me, snuggled on the couch, having some Mommy and Hannah time. Oh, I'm still having that time, just not in the way I desire. This missing, it will never go away.

As always, I've chosen to live, not just to be merely alive. I feel joy and happiness and love and life is good and beautiful. It's just not what it once was, it will never again be that perfect.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Going back to work. I thrive on routine and this is a big part of it. That, and it was such a joy to see my kiddos. I missed them and it was only two days, lol!
2. The Mommy/Lily time she and I have been having. :o)
3. This wonderful program on PBS. I long to travel and see the country. These lodges are wonderful and found in the most beautiful settings. I LONG for time in the mountains once more.
4. Lily is almost fully recovered, and I'm not doing too bad myself. I still have a little cough/congestion going on, but nothing too awful.


Milestones:

So, as of today, I have officially thrown-up more with this baby than I did with Hannah and Lily combined. Great milestone, huh? ;oP

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Tomorrow's my "initial OB" consult. Keep your fingers crossed all goes well. :o)

Just Thinking

Eight years ago, I was holding a newborn baby, watching the tribute concert for the victims of 9/11. I was utterly exhausted, having survived (literally) three days of the most excruciating labor ever. Hannah was sunny-side up and greeted the midwife with her wide-eyed peepers the moment her head emerged. My nosy baby was born needing to know everything. I hadn't slept in days and after pushing for 3 1/2 hours, I was beyond exhausted. I had never been so tired in my life.

I had no idea what to do with my new baby. She was tiny and sweet and wanted to be attached to me incessantly. If she was at my breast, she was content, otherwise, (at least it seemed to me) she would cry. I was SO desperate for a moment's rest I begged the nursery to take her so I could get a bit of shut-eye. The nurses said she just laid in her bassinet, taking in the views.

I had had a MAJOR hemorrhage and was rather weak. I was also an emotional wreck as my hormones were running crazy and I was scared. Our country had just been attacked, I had been inundated with images for days, Brien was going to be unable to be home with me, and I had this new being dependent upon. Nursing was NOT intuitive and there were no lactation consultants on hand at the base hospital to help me out. It all seemed like such a mess.

When we finally got to go home (I had been in the hospital since Wednesday and it was now Sunday), Hannah flipped out in the back in her carrier and I cried all the way home. I cried a lot. I adored my new baby. She was the sweetest, snuggliest baby, but I was so utterly overwhelmed. My life as I had known it was over. Over. I thought I knew, I thought I had been prepared, but nothing could prepare me for the reality of raging hormones, sleep deprivation, engorged breasts and babies that cried and cried and cried.

Hannah was happiest when she was being held. However, she wanted to be held upright--no cradling for my Monkey. I could do nothing but sit and hold my baby all day. Did I have the intelligence to appreciate that? Did I realize just how quickly that first year would fly by? Nope. Of course not. She was my first baby and everything was so new and scary and confusing. Poor Monkey, she was my first baby, the one I learned with, the one I gained confidence with.

At three months it seemed someone flipped a switch and my crotchety, never happy baby became the sunniest, funniest infant. She had the most wonderful belly laugh (which she had until the day she died) and could charm anyone she met. Hannah was nothing but eyes and cheeks and wild hair. Oh what a fat, roly poly baby she was. Her rolls had rolls and she was utterly delicious.

Hannah was inquisitive and had to see and hear everything. She grew older and as she grew we realized she was one brilliant little Monkey. She was utterly amazing in so many ways. And, oh boy, was she dramatic. I figured we were in trouble when at 18 months she would collapse on the floor in a heap of "Oooooh" (imagine the back of a hand pressed to the forehead) instead of having tantrums. We were right, of course. ;o) Hannah was going to either find a cure for cancer, or be a daytime Emmy award winner.

It was around this time Han began to really interact and explore the world around her. She found wonder in everything and delighted in sharing her finds with us. Han first spoke at 10 months and by 15 months was conversing with us in full sentences. Of course, she sounded like Minnie Mouse who had sucked on a helium balloon, but we could talk. So often we would forget Han was still so young because she was so mature in so many ways. I would frequently have to remind myself, "She's only (two, three, four) five, this is developmentally appropriate."

It was tough having a smarty-pants kiddo. I was continually worried about her social interactions. Did she have friends? Did the other kiddos think she was strange? Was her drama and tendency to cry over everything hampering her friendships? Poor Monk felt everything so deeply. The one thing she wanted more than anything else was for everyone to love her and for everyone to be her friend. What a darling child. As often as I was irritated or frustrated with her, I loved her with EVERY fiber of my being.

As I was falling asleep last night, I had all sorts of images of Hannah's life flashing through my mind. This morning, I had one of those moments of utter clarity that come so seldom. I don't know how else to describe it, other than to say I knew I had a sweet little girl named Hannah who brightened my life for six years. I knew she had been an important part of my life and I knew she was gone. Those moments of clarity are so excruciatingly painful and I'm grateful I have them only once in a while.

I miss Hannah all the time. I LOVE to remember her, I LOVE to talk about her, I LOVE the fact I'm her mommy. Yet, I sort of float along on my bubble most of the time. The pain is such a constant I don't notice it any more, it's just a part of who I am, a part of my life now. And then, these moments come along, my bubble bursts and the pain I can tolerate is replaced by something far more deep and crippling. It never lasts long, typically no longer than 30 minutes, but it's long enough to steal my breath and leave me altered.

I miss my baby. She would be eight today. Eight years old and a third grader. My how time flies.
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We didn't get to hike while we were in town. Lily developed a fever, headache and sore throat sometime late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, which put a crimp in our plans. We did meet up with Grandma and Bill at Pandapas Pond for a small birthday celebration. We had a wonderful carrot cake from ODB and sammiches from Macado's. We fed the ducklings and had a wonderful visit.

Yesterday, we decided we had better call the pediatrician since Lil was still fevered and ill. Since B is in Melburn, FL this week, this meant I had to rush to school as soon as we got home so I could get sub plans in place for today.

Lil awoke this morning fever-free and spunky--of course. I called the doctor's office, canceled the appointment and she and I spent a lazy day at home because she still wasn't quite 100%. Tomorrow, though, she'll be back to school and I'm happy to get back to work. It's SO much harder to be out than to be there teaching.
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Today's Sparklies:

1. Remembering Hannah.
2. God Gave Us You is Lil's new favorite book. :o)
3. We are making plans for Jellybean's room, which means we're making plans for Lil's room. I'll try to remember to provide details soon.
4. Lily's feeling better. Whew!

Milestones:

Hannah's eighth birthday has come and gone. Another milestone passed.

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Unless I miss my guess, I've picked up the cold Lil is getting over, so I'm icky and coughing and yuck. I'm off to try to sleep. Thank you all for your kind words yesterday. I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me to know that Hannah's life had a meaning, a purpose, that so many have been touched by my sweet baby. Thank you for sharing that with me.

Happy Birthday, Monkey-Mine

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!

There it is, folks! You could have knocked me over with a feather. Jess in Nebraska, I'm SO sorry. It was a terrible way to lose and an equally terrible way to win. I'm EXHAUSTED! If you look at the stats, Nebraska outplayed us. Yet, in the last 21 seconds of the game, we WON WE WON WE WON!!!!!
Pandemonium reigned and B and I sat and enjoyed the chaos. I don't think I've ever been to such a close game, nor have I EVER heard Lane Stadium as loud as it was this evening. Ever. My ears are still ringing. HOLY COW!! I can't believe we WON!!!

Jellybean!

According to a website I found, Jellybean looks like this. But, you would never know that from the ultrasound today. ;o) Everyone, this is Jellybean:
For those who aren't well versed in the art of reading an ultrasound, the black hole in the upper left there is my uterus with an amniotic sac. There is a shape within that black space, and that's the baby. Jellybean's head is that large sphere and his/her body is the cylinder below it. The umbilical cord is that blobby thing coming out the back/neck area. It is such a miracle seeing the baby like this!

I'm not sure why, but the first part of the appointment was spent making/taking all sorts of measurements, including my ovaries(?). Um, okay... So, the ultrasound tech kept the screen facing her and at first I didn't know what was going on. I actually wound up asking, "So, there's a baby in there? It has a heartbeat?" I must have sounded worried--because, well, I was--because the tech asked, "You've had bleeding?" No, but I am a wreck and a worrywart this time around. Go figure.

She quickly reassured me all was well, and then I heard it, the "whoosh whoosh" gallop of Jellybean's heart. What a moment! I almost started crying right on the spot. At that moment--in spite of the nausea I've been experiencing, and the need to use the bathroom all. the. time., and the uterine growing pains--it all became so very real. There really is honestly and truly a baby in there. Holy cow!!

Jellybean had a racing heart at 180 bpm! I'm sure I had nothing to do with that, lol. ;o) Then, the tech turned the screen, and there s/he was. I was struck rather breathless. Sure, I've been there before, I've had the girls, yet, there's something so miraculous in seeing your baby there. Jellybean was a rockin' and a rollin' and there was her/his tiny heart flickering away. I could see him/her twisting and moving and it was indescribable. Wow. All I could think was "wow".

I'm having a baby, ya'll! What a miracle! :o) (Oh, about that black "hole" in Jellybean's head in the bottom photo, the u/s tech assures me that is a GOOD thing as that is Jellybean's developing brain.) I cannot begin to tell you the relief I feel at having seen the baby today. I have this sense of peace and calm. All will be well. :o)

For those interested, Jellybean measured 9 weeks 2 days and according to the LMP, I'm 9 weeks 1 day, so the due date will remain April 21. :o)

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Jellybean, of course! :o) B finally told his coworkers today, now that he's seen the baby and the heartbeat. Who knew he was so superstitious...
2. Brien is in the kitchen doing the dishes. He mowed the lawn this afternoon. What a guy!
3. I got all my quizzes graded and all grades input into the computer. Go me!
4. This is absolutely the coolest radio show. I heard songs from the latest Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains albums this evening and was hoping to hear the new They Might Be Giants, but, alas, I arrived at my destination and had to go inside.
5. The weather is cooling off again. Hooray! Maybe we'll have a lovely autumn day for the ballgame this weekend. :fingers crossed:

Milestones:

First u/s since Lily. This really cemented in my head that Lily really will have a sibling, that she really is going to be a big sister. I mean, I knew I was pregnant--how could I not--but this is so much more intense.

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Lily is convinced Jellybean is a girl and yet, today, I had person number 10 tell me I'm having a boy. Honestly, I don't care, I really and truly don't care. I just want a healthy, happy baby. Is that too much to ask?

And, oh, yeah, the mac and cheese recipe is at Follow Your Bliss. :o)

More of This and That

I found a number of photos I've been meaning to post in addition to a bunch I took this evening. Lil curled up with a "good book" the other day.


I was reading on the love seat so she decided to "read" as well. Kids do that which is modeled for them. You want your babies to become readers? Then read!

These next few photos were taken at dinner this evening--I couldn't resist. She was all rumpled and ruffled from playing outside, she was happy because she had actually napped today, and well, she was just looking so stinkin' cute.

She got so tickled with herself--she kept burping, completely unintentional, but burping nonetheless. ;o) She used her good manners and excused herself, however, she couldn't resist the laugh. Ahhhh, potty humor. :oP

Then, she started playing with me, so I went with it. The child can make some faces, let me tell you. Sometimes I think her face is more elastic than flesh.

I was tired of getting blurry shots so I decided to turn on the flash. Um, yeah, Lil doesn't much care for the flash.


See? ;oP

She's getting SO big. This evening she created a step-stool for herself, got into her swing, and began pumping to make the swing move. I couldn't believe it!

She likes her new school and at the same time, doesn't much like it. She told me that "school art is too hard, and I don't like school lunch". Alrighty then. Otherwise, she seems to be adjusting well and enjoy school. Her biggest complaint is the new school is challenging her. Lil has always been one to become frustrated if something doesn't come easily for her, so I have to say I'm not too surprised.

With Hannah's birthday coming up, I knew I needed to tell Miss Tanya about her, knowing Lil will be full of stories come Tuesday. In fact, I had just told Miss Tanya and Lily looked up at her and said, "My sister died." Leave it to a kiddo to put it so baldly. :shakes head:

Lil has come home with some new skills. She plays "Tay-noes". You know, "One tay-no, two tay-no, three tay-no, four", those "tay-noes". She makes lists of "challenges" to do, and just this evening, she told her daddy her water bottle was a "blue detector". Yes, folks, she might not like school all the time, but she sure is learning! :oP

Our yard has sprouted mushrooms. Lots and lots of mushrooms. Big ones, small ones, ones the size of your...oh, right, mushrooms. Yeah, got it.

I've lost count of the number of times I've asked Lil to leave the 'shrooms alone, to not touch them because they might be poisonous. Apparently, those admonitions were nothing when faced with the temptation of this beauty. I quickly snapped the photo, made Lil get rid of it and come in and SCRUB her hands. It was pretty nifty, nonetheless.


I finally remembered to take some photos of the cards I made this weekend. I made two of this one (sorry for the crooked shot).

Two of this one,

And two of this one. I had SUCH a wonderful time. I'm desperate to get back in there and keep playing with these beautiful autumn colors.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Did I happen to mention I've been craving comfort foods? I made this for dinner:
Holy cow this was goooooooooood! It was the best mac and cheese I've had in a VERY long time. Recipe available upon request. :o) (We had Manwich and sliced peppers to go with it.)
2. I took another teacher's outside carline today and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I'm so happy I've been there for two years now. This means I know many of the parents and they know me, I'm comfortable with the routines, I know what I'm doing. Hooray!
3. I got almost all the language arts quizzes graded and will finish the last class's tomorrow morning after my appointment. :o)
4. Lily put a sticker on Jellybean this morning and I forgot about it until I had to use the restroom later in the day. Seeing that sticker had me grinning. She really is a sweet little girl.
5. Lil approves of the names we've selected. And, oddly enough, they're not "Ariel", "Jasmine", "Belle", "Simba", or "Eric". ;oP
6. The sweet sweet message I got from Crystal today. :o)
7. All the excellent movie suggestions. Many of them are also among my faves and some are quite new to me. Thank you all!

No milestones.

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I know this is absolutely TMI, so if you are a guy, or a lady who hasn't had babies, you might want to stop reading now.

Okay, just us ladies who have birthed babies here? Good. I'm not sure which is worse, the throwing-up, or the wetting my pants while throwing-up. Ugh! I've had two babies, my pelvic floor is officially shot. I can't help but wonder how in the world Michelle Duggar manages...

Old Movies

Anyone else out there love old, classic (and sometimes not so classic) movies? One of my favorite channels growing up was AMC. This was before they started showing "modern classics" and you could still catch a black and white flick sans commercials.

I've recently rediscovered TCM and just love it. :o) Ah, the beauty of those pin-up gals. You know, the ladies who would be considered "overweight" or "heavy" today, who had gorgeous lush figures. The dapperness of the men. Cary Grant, Bogey and the bunch. Ahhhh. I love the old cheesy ones, the musicals, the love stories, the dramas. I love the dancing and singing, the glimpses of eras and times passed. As someone who soaks up social history, movies really do give insight into pop culture of the day.

I also love the definitely not classic, cheesy movies of the 50s and 60s--think Sandra Dee and Bobby Darrin, Doris Day and Rock Hudson. For me they are an incredibly enjoyable way to spend a Sunday afternoon. So, I want to know, if you like old movies, what are some of your favorites? I'm looking to expand my repertoire a bit. :o)

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Okay, for those that are interested, easy mock key lime pie.

Ingredients:

1 large can frozen limeade concentrate, thawed
2 cans sweetened condensed milk
1 12 oz. tub Cool Whip, thawed
2 graham cracker pie crusts

Directions:

Combine limeade and condensed milk. Mix in Cool Whip. Pour into pie crusts and freeze for minimum 3 hours. Keep frozen. Enjoy! :o)

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Two teeny tiny toads and four deer on this evening's walk.
2. Three "100 KYOOGE" beetles. They were massive monsters I tell ya!
3. Lily and I had a MUCH better morning this morning. Whew!

No milestones.

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I think I'm going to hit the hay early tonight, I'm beat.

Right Now

Right now:

• I'm craving comfort food all the time--meatloaf, mashed chetties and broccoli for dinner
• I'm wishing Lily had slept better last night so this morning could have been easier
• My feet are aching from our walk this evening
• My shorts are snug across the tummy even though I've gained no weight--bloat or Jellybean?
• I've got a stack of papers a mile high to grade (okay, only 49 geography quizzes, but who's counting?)
• Lily has been a wreck--fell and dinged her knee whilst on our walk this evening
• I'm longing for bed
• I'm distracted by the "Antiques Roadshow"
• I'm wishing "Radio Surv" would quite calling my house
• I'm grateful the internet has created such a small world--it's amazing
• I'm looking forward to my ultrasound Thursday
• I'm trying to figure out what to do about Han's birthday
• B is doing school work (lucky boy)
• Lily has me laughing with her speech. Something is "kyooge" if it's very very big. If it's very very very big, it's "100 kyooge". ;o)
  

My brain is chasing itself in circles and I'm fairly certain I couldn't get a coherent thought out if I tried.
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Today's Sparklies:

1. We saw five deer on our walk this evening.
2. The spiders suspended above our heads as they made their home between the trees on either side of the boardwalk.
3. The "mock" key lime pie I have awaiting me in the freezer--if you are interested in the VERY easy recipe, let me know.
4. Feeling better today. Whew! I think going to work helps take my mind off myself. ;o)
5. The evening walk was so refreshing, even with the nasty humidity.


No milestones.

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I'm off to get that pie. :oP

Oh, and Pamela, I agree about being Bonita. And, thanks for the sweet words. :o) They made my evening. :o)

Busy But Not Really

Friday evening Bob arrived to remove much of the furniture from our house. The chairs, dining room table and bed/frame are gone. The only thing left are the mattress and box springs in the office. Whew! We bid him adieu and as Brien, Lily and I were getting ready to head out to meet Mom and Dad for dinner, disaster struck--Lil and the van's sliding door collided. Lil wound up sprawled on the ground, crying in pain and panic. When I got to her she had a blue crease down the center of her forehead. It was awful.

I raced her inside, had Brien grab a bag of peas from the freezer and sat on the couch with Lil in my lap, holding the peas to her forehead. Eventually, the crease popped out and she now has the loveliest goose egg in a rainbow of hues from green to blue to purple. :o( Poor Bitty. I've not felt so awful in quite a while.

Saturday morning B and Pop headed to the 'burg for the season opener, leaving Lil, Nana and me at home. I had every intention of visiting the FM as I hadn't been in a few weeks (and know I won't be going next week) and the weather was sure to be cool and sunny. Alas I was thwarted by Lil sleeping in. Brien had left the house around 6:30 and I had snuggled back in and coasted. When I came to again I discovered the room was a little too bright to be just 7:00 or 8:00 like usual. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw it was 9:00. 9:00!!! Holy COW!!!!! And Lil was still sleeping! I think she was simply worn out from all the excitement of the past week. Anyhow, she finally got up around 9:30. WOW!

Nana came over in the afternoon and she and Lil and I had some studio time. I was delighted to get in there and we had a great time. Lily went down for a nap (yes, even after getting 12 hours sleep) and Nan and I played some more. I made six cards--note to self: get photos--and have pieces of another three ready to go. I LOVE autumn colors and cards. :o)

This morning, I was lying around feeling sorry for myself as I'm so nauseated these days, when Pop called. It was a gorgeous day and he suggested a picnic at Waller Mill Park. It was just what I needed to knock me out of my pity-party. :o) We picked up some Pierce's BBQ (if you are ever down this way, and you like BBQ, you should really get out that way!) and enjoyed an afternoon in the fall-ish weather and sunshine. We ate on the water and at one point a female mallard came begging. Lil fed her bits of fries, BBQ and chicken strips. :oP At one point Lily held out a bit of bun and the duck brazenly snitched it right out her outstretched hand!

We moved from the picnic table to the playground a little further up the hill and Lil thoroughly enjoyed herself while Pop and B tossed around a frisbee-ring-thingy. Pretty soon, another little girl came along with her mommy and big sister. The both introduced themselves with the usual, "I'm free!" "I'm free too!" Lily did try to get the other little girl's name, "I'm Lily, what's your name?" but she didn't hear.

Before too long I found myself wincing because the little girl did in fact introduce herself and then said, "This is my big sister." I knew what was coming, I braced myself, and yet it didn't make it any easier. In fact, it doesn't get any easier, even though I keep hoping it will. "I have a big sister too. Her name is Hannah. She died and she's in heaven." I find I try not to make eye-contact with anyone else when that happens. Children accept death so readily because they don't "get it", really. I mean, they do, but only on a very basic level. Adults, however, they absolutely "get it" and everything it encompasses. While the little girl simply shrugged off Lily's comment, as kids so often do, I knew the other mommy would be horrified, as they often are.

When confronted with that information so baldly, people just don't know how to react. It makes me uncomfortable because I know they are uncomfortable. I want to honor Hannah and her memory, but at the same time, this is destined to be a very short acquaintanceship and I know this is a very deep subject to touch upon in such a short space of time.

I have the same thing happen when people ask me about Jellybean. "Oh, is this your second pregnancy?" Um, no, not really. I hate being in this position. I hate so much about having lost the Monkey, but this is always one of the worst--addressing her loss with casual acquaintances. I feel guilty if I don't mention her, because she was here, she was (and still remains) a HUGE part of my life, how can I not acknowledge her? And yet, it's almost too much to get into with a virtual stranger. I'm still feeling my way and it sucks. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with this. Ever.

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Weekend Sparklies:

1. Lily is in excellent spirits for one who tried to brain herself this weekend. :o)
2. The Hokies won! Yes!
3. The lovely weekend weather.
4. Studio time!
5. A beautiful picnic.
6. My Grandfather's 90th birthday was yesterday. :o) Wow!
7. This wonderful 90th birthday for Pete Seeger I'm watching on PBS. Sure, it's pledge time, but hey, this is a good show and I'm finding myself a bit verklempt. I'm normally a bit weepy anyway, but pregnancy really does a number on me. ;o) You should hear the harmonies coming from the audience as they sing "Amazing Grace". Wow!
8. Oh, yes, I forgot. I know many, many, many of you have been reading Pioneer Woman for years, but I only really discovered her this weekend. I delved into her archives and read her "love story" and wow. I think I'm in love with her. I want to be her when I grow up. ;o)

No milestones, just another awkward moment on a path that's sure to be littered with them.

Whew

Another "Back to School" night over and done with. Another one under my belt. I walked in the door about thirty minutes ago, got some grub and now, I'm ready to hit the sack.

It went well and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting all the parents--some of them again. :o)

But now, I'm beat. I hope you all have a delightful Friday and amazing weekend! :o)

Good News

Anyone else out there living with a menagerie of critters, all of them embodied in your child? On this evening's walk we had a cat, dog, baby puppy, baby kitten (yes, baby to both of those), zebra, horse and bird. I know it seems like such a small thing, minor really. But, IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! I keep reminding myself that if we were to suddenly lose Lil, one of the things we would miss most would be the crazy animal antics. And yet, I'm still human, and she's driving me somewhat nutso with it. ARGGHHHHHH!

The thing is, she's such a sweetie pea I feel guilty for being frustrated. She truly is a funny little girl, and she's so very helpful, how can I be such a cross-patch as to begrudge her this fun?

Meanwhile, when I was once again greeted with, "I don't want to talk about it" when asked about her day today, I told Lily the reason I wanted to know about her day because I love her so much and I want to know she's having a good time. She did nap today, but Miss Tanya seemed concerned because she didn't eat any of the lunch. She had sloppy joes, canned peas and canned pears. Um, yeah. We don't really eat too much like that anymore so I guess she's not used to it. Although, B and I both got a hankering for Manwich when contemplating the sloppy joes so we might just have to have them next week. ;o)

On to the news I know you all are waiting for. :o) I had a lovely appointment this morning. I know many people become perturbed and put-out when they have to wait an agonizingly long time for the doctor to arrive--I don't. I figure the doctor is taking a long time to get to me because she is busy talking to other patients, giving them the time and courtesy they deserve, meaning she's going to devote that much time to me as well. As I suspected, I was right. Dr. B spent almost 40 minutes with me today, and remember, I was a "squeeze in" appointment.

I initially apologized for taking up her time when I was no longer freaking out and she reassured me it was not a problem at all. In fact, she said that she was "fascinated" by the situation and she and another member of the practice were all into researching, finding out all they could about pregnancy and H1N1. She also told me she pulled my name up in their system, got me and no other info. At that point, she decided to bring me in to get to know me a bit. :o)

The good news is, according to Dr. B, is the H1N1 is no more virulent than seasonal influenza, the difference being it affects those between the ages of 5 and 24 as opposed to infants/toddlers and the elderly. She said I really had nothing to worry about as the incubation period for H1N1 is about a week and if I haven't gotten it yet, GOOD! I was also told I'll be receiving the immunization come October when it becomes available and that should I develop it before then, I would be given Tamiflu. She also reassured me that a fever wouldn't affect Jellybean. Whew!

Dr. B also spent time getting to know me. In giving my history, I felt I had better tell her about Hannah. I was touched when she began to cry. I have to say I haven't really experienced that yet, although Lissie said that has been her doctors' reaction. Anyhow, it showed me this lady has compassion in spades. I told her that, understandably, I'm now a HUGE worry wart because now I KNOW bad things happen to good people, and she got that.

After giving me a physical of sorts, including a pelvic exam (always SO much fun...) she said my uterus felt soft and enlarged to correspond with an eight week pregnancy. She also told me she wants me to go ahead and keep my "new OB" appointment on the 24th, but that she wanted me to have a dating ultrasound before then--I'm fairly certain that had something to do with me saying, "Yes, it will be nice to have that ultrasound so I know I'm growing a baby and not a mass of cells with no heartbeat." What this all means is I'll be going for an u/s on the 17th. Woo hoo!

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Lil had me in stitches this evening with, "I can't sleep, my bed is freaking me out!" :oP
2. My excellent OB visit today.
3. Dr. B had me chuckling with, "You can grow a baby as big as you like--you have a wonderfully large pelvis!" Of course, growing babies isn't the problem, it's getting 'em out. ;o)
4. Oh what a wonderful walk tonight. I'm telling you, autumn is going to be here soon, I can feel it! It was so cool and wonderful this evening. Ahhhhh Of course, it was also dark before 8:00 tonight...
5. A shout-out to the nice lady who recognized B from the blog--Hey! Thanks for stopping to say hi! :o) I felt like such a celebrity, LOL!

No milestones.

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I think I'm going to be off to feed my craving for some strawberry ice cream. Mmmmmm :o)

Lil's First Day of Preschool

It would seem that I failed to take photos of Lil this morning. Me. Rachael. The woman who ALWAYS has her camera handy. What was I thinking?!?

Lily admitted as she was getting ready that she was a little bit scared. I told her that was okay that she was allowed to be scared. Heck, I was a little bit scared as well, not having met Miss Tanya yet. We arrived, Miss Jodi met us at the door (she's the director and she recognized Lil at once), took Lily under her wing and showed her around. As I was getting ready to leave I asked Lily if she wanted to give me a hug and a kiss good-bye or if she just wanted to go play. She opted for playing. ;o)

I stole a quick squeeze, headed to the van and began crying. Yes, crying. I still don't quite understand it. I've been taking Lily to daycare situations since she was three months old. You would think I would be old hat at this at this point. I do know what happened, though, don't I? It was just so many memories and changes and really, my baby started "school" today.

I had to call the school during my planning period this afternoon to finish up some business. When I called, I identified myself and was ready to complete the business and Jodi told me, "She's having a wonderful day!" I didn't even ask. She just must have known I needed to know. :o)

When I arrived to pick Lily up this afternoon, Jodi again greeted me and told me Lily had a great day. She then introduced me to Miss Tanya who informed me Lily had a great day. She said that Lily wasn't at all introverted and that she's very smart. I have to confess, the not introverted part really surprised me. Wow.

Trying to get info about today from Lily was worse than pulling teeth. "I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about somefing else, okay?" Huh? What do you think she's trying to hide? ;o) I finally managed to learn she made a necklace from Froot Loops which could be an oval or a zero, she read "Chrysanthemum" (one of our favorites) and painted a picture of chrysanthemums using her thumb. (Anyone else out there remember how to spell "chrysanthemum" from watching the spelling bee scene in "Anne of Green Gables" the movie?) I also determined breakfast was junky cereal (woo hoo :eye roll:), snack was graham crackers and grape juice and lunch was ham and cheese sammiches with green beans, applesauce and milk. What did I learn from this? Feed Lil a decent brekky before she heads out the door.

Meanwhile, I discovered we have had a couple of cases of H1N1 around school and I have been "exposed". How did I learn this? From the principal who came to my room during my planning, told me and then directed me to call my OB/Gyn to find out what they wanted me to do. Yes, my administrator was concerned and wanted me to take care of myself. When I had to leave a message at my old practice, I decided to call the new one, even though I haven't yet met with them.

My old practice returned my call and told me there really isn't much they can do, that even if I do get the virus, I'm too early in my pregnancy to get Tamiflu so that's that. Wheeeeeeee. The new practice called, told me one of the OBs wanted to see me first thing tomorrow, to get a physical and check me out and then decide what to do from there. I confess, this makes me feel pretty good.

Honestly, at first I was a nervous wreck--almost a panic attack really. I put into practice some coping strategies I learned in the fifth grade (yes, they still work) and assessed the situation. I'm a very healthy person, I always have been. I eat well, get exercise and plenty of sleep. I'm trying to eliminate as much stress as possible as well. I'm taking massive doses of vitamins (thank you prenatals) and have upped my vitamin C consumption (I had no idea OJ could be so delicious--I'm REALLY craving fruit these days). I coat myself in Purell multiple times a day and practice safe hygiene and I'm blessed I teach fifth graders who know how to use tissues and such correctly.

That said, should I still get sick, the only risk I can think of is the fever. My lungs aren't crunched up from the baby as of yet, which is a big point of concern with women later in their pregnancies. The fever, however, does concern me. I'm only about eight weeks along and Jellybean is still forming his/her parts and pieces. High body temperatures can really cause some problems. That worries me. But, that's just a bridge I'll have to cross when I get there.

I'm grateful the OB is literally squeezing me in. She has a full schedule and yet, is willing to see me. I'm hoping I'll have an ultrasound tomorrow to check on Jellybean and make sure s/he has a heartbeat. :o) Keep your fingers crossed!

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Today's Sparklies:

1. The grey, rainy day seemed to soothe the kiddos. It was nice. :o)
2. Lily's first day of "school". She was SO excited. :o)
3. The dogs and I took a quick walk this evening. The weather was just glorious (low 70s to upper 60s) with only a bit of humidity. Fall is coming, fall is coming!!!!
4. My friend Katie (who is going to Seville in just a few days!) will be my sub tomorrow morning. How fun! :o)
5. "How it's Made" was so cool tonight--they made colored pencils!

Milestones:

Lil's first day today which brought back so many memories of my Monkey. This loss thing is so very bittersweet.

Doin' Nothin'

That's basically all we did this weekend, nuthin'. ;o) Brien felt dreadfully ill Friday evening so we didn't go anywhere. Saturday we had to forgo the FM (:sniff: :sniff:) for a trip to the grocery instead. While Lil and I were out, B did ALL the outside yard work.

We spent Saturday evening having dinner with Nana and Pop (yummeroonie steaks!) and then watching the Hokies somewhat self-destruct against 'Bama. I had expected a much closer (and lower scoring) game. Oh, well. Now we know what we need to work on, huh?

Yesterday (and today), I felt rather "off" for lack of a better word. Sure, the nausea is icky, but something else isn't quite right, I'm just not quite sure what it is. So, I laid around and did nothing. Brien took care of me, cooking carne adovado last night and a delicious lasagna this evening. He really is such a good guy. :o)

I did manage to get three weeks' worth of lesson plans put together and block out my pacing for the semester, so I wasn't all lazy--just mostly lazy.

It's grey and rainy this evening, leaving me wanting to snooze. It's supposed to be like this the rest of the week and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the workday, lol! Since I want to sleep all the time anyway, this isn't a good thing. ;oP

Oh, I forgot, I did manage to get a couple of loads of laundry done. I had an excellent helper:

She is truly truly a doll. Mostly the only time we have any problems is dinner. Even then, she comes around fairly quickly. I'm blessed, I know I am.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Lil's "iPod":



I took the sticker and tray from B's iTouch and "made" one for Lily. She loves it!
2. The grey weather leaving me with the desire to just snuggle down and sleep.
3. Dinner for the rest of the week is going to be leftovers. I LOVE leftovers!
4. We got to visit with Sarah and Erik for a bit Saturday afternoon.
5. I got to read a novel this weekend. I LOVE long weekends! :o)


Milestones:

Lily begins preschool tomorrow. The last time I had a child starting preschool was Hannah in 2005. The time has flown by. I'm feeling very bittersweet as memories of Han and her preschool experiences flash through my head. Lily was born when Han was in preschool. I'll have a new baby while Lil is in preschool. The parallels are rather breathtaking for me.

Is it possible to miss that which you never truly got to experience? I miss the sound of the girls playing and bickering. I miss the chaos that would be Hannah preparing for the first day of third grade. I miss back to school shopping and clothing shopping with my clothes diva. I miss I miss I miss.